Spring in my spirit

As I read this, considering the blog that brought me 'back here' My Heart's Desire - found at http:/lynishiskid.blogspot.com I thought - THIS is all that makes life worthwhile - the relationship with Him - usually directly connected to how much time I consciously spend with Him.

This afternoon – after shopping – and enjoying this beautiful day, I went to just 'sit' on the front porch. - sorted some coupons – listened to the birds, the sounds of the neighborhood and I thought of that a little girl in a You tube video...She was like a little cheerleader for all the positive things in her life - all said with enthusiasm for life from her stand ON the bathroom counter in front of the mirror. I LOVE my house.. I LOVE my porches. I LOVE the birds - I love the beautiful smells in the air – the abundant signs of spring – all that bright spring green everywhere... and His presence touches me -.. even as I think about it, there is this gentle presence and those same tears.. As I sat there, just overwhelmed with gratitude – there were unbidden tears – with no feeling of sadness – just tears that come at the touch of His hand. No weeping, just tears – what comes to mind is like tears that wash the Master's feet. Not bitter tears, but sweet.

There's a gentle breeze – and the unmistakable fragrance of orange blossoms.. heavenly sweet – would it be too much to think that might be a sweet sweet fragrance we smell in heaven?

I love my house – I love the birds – the new spring green of the new leaves – I love how the sounds of my neighborhood – make me feel settled in – surrounded by good things. I know there are things not so good in every neighborhood, but those things can be all around and He says.. they won't come nigh me... all that I see is that He has written over my day...my life - Grace, Delight, Glorious – peace –and the smile on the outside comes from something deep inside.

Its not a rare occurrence to be overwhelmed by gratitude and find tears . It almost comes in softly like mist.. At first the rejoicing over the things He's put into my life that delight me openly – and then His sweet, sweet presence. How He provides for His children.

I was thinking about His Word – and how He causes me to be absolutely adamant about it.. If He says it, it IS. No doubt about it. As I reflect on struggles here and there – painful, physical ones sometimes - I remember His Word says.. by His stripes I WAS healed. If it says it, then its true... and if I am walking in symptoms still, there is no fault with Him. I need to ask, believing for the grace and faith required to receive this and to walk in it. He says that I need to speak those things which be not as though they are...He changes not – His word changes not – He said His Word went forth and healed them ALL.. ALL - I need to SAY that I am walking in total health – that pain is gone, diabetes is gone... believing without doubt in my heart.. and I shall have these things. He says.. without doubt. He says faith... Faith does come by hearing His word over and over and over...His Word feeds our spirit.. encourages us, lifts us – spurs us on. We accumalate it in our heart – and out of our heart comes the abundance of His word – out of the heart the mouth speaks.

How many idle words do we speak in a day?

Time to get dinner – fish (thank you Lord for coupons and a great grocery store with all their buy one get one.. free offers... Vegetables – also half price and also with coupons.. making them SO affordable. Things like that delight me and I see it as provision from my Father's hand. So off to do them justice and SHOW how much I appreciate them.

I was thinking that this past couple of years have been difficult to care for this yard and house He's provided. I LOVE it, but you wouldn't know it. It doesn't look particularly loved. Sometimes people find great peace here – but that's His presence, nothing that I've done. So – with His help, remembering I can do ALL things through Him who strengthens me, a page has turned... and again - grateful tears.

Hope your day and spring is filled with blessings, unexpected and in abundance..

Week 1

This is in response to a post from My Heart's Desire: A Woman of Noble Character.
Week 1: Proverbs 31:10-12 Are you a virtuous and capable wife more precious than rubies? Does your husband trust you, and do you enrich his life? Do you bring him good everyday? Write a post about something you would like to change about yourself, and something you love about yourself. How does this add to the enrichment of your husband's life?

So many times when some new thought or challenge comes my way, I have to let it just sit between Him and me... waiting. Its a perfect time of year for changes. New Year's resolutions have never worked for me - I start off with enthusiasm but soon lose interest or am unable to follow through and they are forgotten I prefer to do as this challenge suggests... make a note or list of those things which I'd like to see different going into the future - and then my excuses or reasons why I can't change them.. and finally -with His help, what I can do to make the needed changes. This challenge stirs my heart.

Our 49th anniversary was January 20th which means we have been together over 50 years counting dating. I'm not satisfied with our relationship as it is, but have offhandedly dismissed those feelings as normal for this many years. Remembering back about 15 years, I was so excited about us 'retiring' together and the fun we would have. Children out on their own, grandchildren now all grown - it seemed the perfect time for us. The negatives seem so easy to see in our relationship - our differences - STILL marked after all these years. I'm very very much peaceful and I guess what you'd call opposite to the type A - which fits him perfectly. I love to be home and quiet, he loves to be busy. It takes HUGE things to bring me to anger - and very little to affect him. All these years, when I'd be dissatisfied, I'd remember that its not my job to change my husband- Its my job to just love him and present myself before God, a living sacrifice and I've always asked Him to change me to meet my husband's need. I do know that he trusts me without doubt. Acknowledging or naming those things that I possibly do to enrich his life is a bit more difficult. The biggest thing I ought to be doing is praying for him diligently - and I've been very lax about that....quick prayers for his safety when he goes out on the road - or for his health - The change I'd like here is to pray with fervor for Him - taking the time to really come before God and letting Him fill my heart and mouth with prayer for him I need to allow God to show me his need as I do for others.

I do the 'wifely things' like cooking, laundry - making sure he gets the foods that are healthy for him, making sure he has the vitamins he needs - Trying to listen better when he talks. I'm a very quiet person because he is extremely talkative. He's also losing his hearing and becomes very upset and angry when he can't hear me - which makes me even more quiet. Change me to meet His need, Lord still a most appropriate prayer and something I need to remember several times a day. I remember all his wonderful attributes:... such a gentle and generous heart - such love for his family and strong faith in God.

There are so many things I'd like to change about myself. Perhaps first is accepting myself as I am and going from there. lol. A lot of the changes I'd like revolve around health issues. I'm a clutterer, especially in the last 6 years - not sure why I feel unable to let go of things. Perhaps New England upbringing, but more likely something else. I want to consistently empty my house of anything we don't need, use or love - leaving room for so many other things such as reading, praying, writing to friends.

What do I love about myself. There's this lump in my throat as I realize there isn't anything I can say I love. I'm so very grateful for a close walk with God - for hearing Him, for the times He's allowed me to be part of something He's doing for someone else. I'm grateful to have an acceptance attitude about other people. I realize we all have clay feet and God is working on us all. That helps me not to be judgemental and to just love people where they are. People used to say they felt so peaceful after talking with me - people from church etc. I like that they find in me, peace. Another change I'd like is to find more about myself that I actually love. I think partly its because when I was young my focus was on my self - improvement, problems, etc. Now it seems to be that I'm a vessel the focus is on others. If I could get the house emptied a bit, more energy and more self esteem, that would bless my husband.

When I get up in the morning I remember that I am a doer of the Word and not a hearer only - this IS the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it. I call those things which be not as though they are: I call diabetes GONE, I confess that I have all the energy required to every single thing He would have me do in a day. I am redeemed from all the curse of the law and know that He came to destroy all the works of the devil. The day begins and is intermittently filled with prayer as things come up. God orders my steps and He alone plans my days. He does all things well.

2008 !!

New beginnings are wonderful. During December I consider how an old year is about to end a a new one to begin. Its now nearly the middle of January and I've made no drastic changes. I don't normally do resolutions... too easily broken and too impulsive for me. The thought of listing things I'd like to see changed before God and asking His help in getting them accomplished is something else.

He says to be a doer of the word and not a hearer only --- His word says to speak those thing which be not as though they were. That's always been something on my mind as I pray for others or about situations. He's put a guard on y mouth that I not speak negative or curses, particularly over others. It seems a bit more difficult to keep some things about myself from slipping out! When I consider someone before Him, I speak those things which be not as though they are. His word is powerful! What He says IS.

My daughter goes to the same church with Shiela, mentioned before. She is doing really well: her arm healed very quickly, and the lukemia is no longer a problem. God is so faithful. When I'm crocheting a blanket, it seems He gives a knowing about the person, gives understanding as to their needs. Sometimes when I begin, I don't even know for whom He's having me make the blanket. As I crochet, I listen to some great tapes on what God's word says about healing - I read whatever scriptures He's given me for the time - sometimes printing them out and tying them around the skein of yarn.. LOL. I've always done things that demonstrate or symbolize something... for me. Frequently He has me read those scriptures aloud and lay hands on the blanket, knowing that His touch is on that person. Its something that makes my heart rejoice when I find out for whom the blanket is intended and my daughter tells me that the scriptures or the words from God are perfect for that person. I always remember its "Him, not me". The Holy Spirit leads me into all truth. Frequently I pray in the Spirit as I crochet, knowing that He says this will edify me and I can pray with understanding for the person.

The needs represented when we make the blanket are very diverse. Sometimes its physical healing needed, sometimes its a person who's emotions need His loving touch. We've taken a break during the hot summer months, but lately I've been feeling the urge to pick it up again.

I read a blog this morning of a young girl, Chandra. The joy of the Lord is her strength. I love to see young people so excited about knowing Him -- the very young and the very old are my favorites. My best friend died a few years ago at 81 years old. There is no age difference in the Lord! She was rather reserved and we would laugh at the thought of either of us dancing before the Lord... One day she called me and said she'd always told Him she would do whatever was pleasing in His sight and she found herself gently dancing before Him when she went up for prayer. LOL. My wonderful friend - I do miss her gentleness. She used to say I was her 'mother in the Lord'.

A new beginning - exciting to see what He has in store for this upcoming year.

The Shed Blood of the Lamb

June 28, 2007
This morning was an "Early in the morning will I rise up and greet Thee? morning. Last night was a fervent fervent amount of praying especially for Don.. telling parkinsons it had to go.. focusing on the shed Bloood of Jesus and its power... Part of me expects to hear that he is much improved.. It brought me to tears thinking that I hadn't made him a blanket already.

I'm amazed at how the power in the Blood of the Lamb holds me this morning.. Awesome and I know that I've only seen an inkling of how powerful it is. I must be diligent and perseve in holding the blood against the enemy and all his works... on behalf of a lot of other people.... wow its so much with me this morning. I don't know if my praying woke Hans up.. or if it was just time. I've been praying for Don and for Ssmittee.

Intercession

Interceding - June 9, 2007

People who don't know me, don't realize that I've been adamant about the things of God for a long, long time. When my grandmother died and I began to go through her books left to me, I found several bibles with lots of things underlined... telling me that my grandparents were just as passionate about God as I am. There is a scripture that tells you to leave an inheritance to your children's children. I've told my grandchildren.. the inheritance I leave you is the amazingly close walk with God.. I believe my grandmother left this to me. I can only hope that up in Heaven, somehow she knows and dances in delight as she sees.

I woke up this morning around 5 - finally gave in and got up about 5:30 -- thinking all that time.. Early in the morning will I rise up and greet Thee... sleep... Early... Finally the Rise up and greet Thee won.. and I found myself praying for Shiela.. interceding for her.. almost like a surprise. As I prayed for her, and spoke things around her.. it occurred to me.. it was a bit of the interceding for more than within my four walls. smile.. stepping into the gap. Read a little of the blood and the glory.. about terrors.. and I thought.. walking into the enemy's territory means you'd better know Who is with you and be sure you walk His way... That first scripture is one I've loved, but never knew exactly what it meant.. awesome.. and how important it is that we present that face to the enemy's forces... no fear, because... and that Blood line that surrounds us that can't be crossed... What is that song.. about going into enemy territory and taking back what's ours.. I'd say OURS means those others who for whatever reason haven't presented that countenance and the enemy has taken advantage

Early in the morning, will I rise up and greet Thee -
Thank you for this day. I will rejoice and be glad in it. Thank you for your Word. Thank you for the shed blood of the Lamb. Thank you for your awesome sacrifice. That you for bearing our diseases. Thank you that you teach us how to receive Your healing. Thank you that we are the healed of the Lord, We are the saved of God.. we are the delivered .... Thank you that line upon line, we can build a mighty force around us, dismissing the enemy. Thank you that you give us the tools to present a barrier that turns away the enemy in fear. We may be tempted to think and act on thoughts of fear, but thanks be to You.. those words don't have to come out of our mouth.

I am remembering that I am covered in the shed blood of the lamb.. I am remembering that I don't have to fear. I am remembering that He never leaves me. I am remembering that the enemy is defeated by the blood of the Lamb and the testimony of my mouth. I can come boldly into any place He leads me... without fear. I am the protected of the Lord. The most High God surrounds me with His protection and deliverance from all terrors. Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death.. I do not have to fear any evil, any death in any territory that the enemy thinks is his.. I can step boldly in the face of terrorism, because of what He has done for us, me, I do not have to have any fear. I can go anywhere He leads me... even into territory where the redeemed of the Lord are being held captive.

I thought of that soft yellowy blanket for Shiela... maybe.. and printed out the psalm.. didn't know what to do with it, and ended up wrapping it around the skein of yarn and tying it on with a piece of yarn. As I thought about Shiela, it was like speaking to her.. speaking His word..walking around her,. encircling her and laying stitch upon stitch of His Word like crocheting.. building up that wall around her, keeping the enemy out. Do you know that sometimes when I think like this, the enemy tells me.. what, are you crazy??? LOL I tell him to BUG OFF !! he's just ticked because we're going to take back that territory.... and ticked because some are finally getting how powerful the truth is... sets the captives free... and it doesn't matter my opinion of where the person stands with God.. strong, weak, knowing, or not... His Word is still powerful and I can still go in there and intercede... He alone knows exactly what they need. .... LOL ~~~ I think the enemy just said.. maybe what you need is a tranquilizer....lol... Its like thinking of stomping in there, grabbing that person or whatever and yanking them away from the grip of the enemies tricks. more laughing... yep -- still what most people would call a fanatic!

Philippians 1:28
And in nothing terrified by your adversaries; which is to them an evident token of perdition, but to you of salvation, and that of God. A token is a sign.. we send a sign to the enemies... Because we are not terrified by adversaries, this sends them a sign.. an evident token"" "Perdition means doom" A sign to the enemy of perdition.. its a sign to them that they are doomed! The same is a sign to us of salvation." "What kind of sign do we sent to the enemy?IIsn't that good? No wonder its important what we say. Even the smallest things...not giving the light of day to thoughts that don't line up with His word... Put a guard on my mouth, Lord !!! Create in me a clean heart...

Psalm 27:11
Teach me Thy way, O Lord, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies. "Original Hebrew of "mine enemies" translates as those which observe me." What kind of sign do we show to 'those which observe us?" the enemy

Psalm 91 is a wonderful scripture to read frequently... what promises are in there!!! Psa 91:1 He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. Psa 91:2 I will say of the LORD, [He is] my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust. Psa 91:3 Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, [and] from the noisome pestilence. Psa 91:4 He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth [shall be thy] shield and buckler. Psa 91:5 Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; [nor] for the arrow [that] flieth by day; Psa 91:6 [Nor] for the pestilence [that] walketh in darkness; [nor] for the destruction [that] wasteth at noonday. Psa 91:7 A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; [but] it shall not come nigh thee. Psa 91:8 Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked. Psa 91:9 Because thou hast made the LORD, [which is] my refuge, [even] the most High, thy habitation; Psa 91:10 There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling. Psa 91:11 For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways. Psa 91:12 They shall bear thee up in [their] hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone. Psa 91:13 Thou shalt tread upon the lion and adder: the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under feet. Psa 91:14 Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name. Psa 91:15 He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I [will be] with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him. Psa 91:16 With long life will I satisfy him, and shew him my salvation.

Revelation 12:11 .. We overcome by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony.

I AM the healed of the Lord. I am the protected of the Lord. ...You are under this protection. .

I Come to the Garden Alone

June 8, 2007

One of my favorite songs has always been I Come to the Garden Alone

I come to the garden alone while the dew is still on the roses
And the voice I hear, falling on my ear,
The Son of God discloses, And He walks with me, and He talks with me,
And He tells me I am His own, and the Joy we share as we tarry there,
None other has ever known.

He speaks, and the sound of His voice Is so sweet the birds hush their singing,
And the melody that He gave to me Within my heart is ringing,
And He walks with me, and He talks with me,
And He tells me I am His own, and the Joy we share as we tarry there,
None other has ever known.

I'd stay in the garden with Him Though the night around me be falling,
But He bids me go; through the voice of woe, His voice to me is calling.
And He walks with me, And He talks with me, And He tells me I am His own,
And the Joy we share as we tarry there, None other has ever known...

When I consider what it means to walk with Him.. and the times of prayer and communion, this is the song that comes to mind. When I was young, I would literally go out into the field or woods and find quiet spots to be alone with Him.. to pray and to listen. Now when I can't do that, there is that quiet place within my heart and it becomes that Garden where I hear His gentle voice and I pray for others.

I've created this journal to write down thoughts and places the Lord has touched. Its been over 30 years of knowing Him as my Lord and Savior and Friend. I hope I can keep this as unto Him and not write considering what anyone else might think.

Yesterday afternoon was very strange. I felt God's presence in such a powerful way all afternoon.. nearly constantly praying and not knowing about what. I told Suzi that for the first time in a long long time, I said again.. Here am I, Lord.. send me.... and said "use me".. a LONG time since I've done that. I've thought recently about how time is so easily wasted. Here I am at 65 and what am I doing with these days. A man in a butcher shop said to me one day... I'm numbering my days... I thought how important that is.. to number our days.. make them really count. What in my life could be more important than numbering those days before Him.

For a long time I've stayed "on my porch".. unable or unwilling to go down and touch those around me with His touch. Person after person came to mind with such need and hurt.. It touched my heart and I couldn't help but think how God's heart must hurt as He sees His children in such messes and such pain. What is it "the fields are white unto harvest.. and where are the laborers? in at the banqueting tables...

I told Suzi I think what He's talking to me about is more, powerful intercession. That night I read the daily devotion in Oswald Chamber's book. MY UTMOST FOR HIS HIGHEST . and it said

"Whatever you ask in My name, that I will do . . . —John 14:13

Am I fulfilling this ministry of intercession deep within the hidden recesses of my life? There is no trap nor any danger at all of being deceived or of showing pride in true intercession. It is a hidden ministry that brings forth fruit through which the Father is glorified. Am I allowing my spiritual life to waste away, or am I focused, bringing everything to one central point— the atonement of my Lord? Is Jesus Christ more and more dominating every interest of my life? If the central point, or the most powerful influence, of my life is the atonement of the Lord, then every aspect of my life will bear fruit for Him."

Wow - I am always thrilled when God allows me to mouth off about something, pray about something and then I find a confirmation somewhere like this. Like Him telling me - you did hear Me!!

and..."Whatever you ask in My name, that I will do . . . ." The disciple who abides in Jesus is the will of God, and what appears to be his free choices are actually God's foreordained decrees. Is this mysterious? Does it appear to contradict sound logic or seem totally absurd? Yes, but what a glorious truth it is to a saint of God." WOW

and
"If you yourself do not cut the lines that tie you to the dock, God will have to use a storm to sever them and to send you out to sea. Put everything in your life afloat upon God, going out to sea on the great swelling tide of His purpose, and your eyes will be opened. If you believe in Jesus, you are not to spend all your time in the calm waters just inside the harbor, full of joy, but always tied to the dock. You have to get out past the harbor into the great depths of God, and begin to know things for yourself— begin to have spiritual discernment."

Makes me laugh with joy in my heart. I love God's touch on my life. I love His presence. When I consider myself a vessel, I can see who I am... and think I am shy, a weak vessel, but I contain pure Gold... Him and His Word. So exciting. I remember a preacher saying so many years ago .. we must decrease that He may increase.. I've always remembered whenever things happen that are so wonderful.... its "Him, not me"